Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Naughty or Nice?

I suppose the title of this post is more suited to Christmas instead of New Year's Day. But I've been paying more attention to my behavior and/or reaction to things lately. I recently made more of a commitment to start living for God everyday. This came from a sudden realization that I've been way into my own head and thoughts of late. So I've set out on a mission. My mission involves my mind in a big way.

When my mind starts to wander into territory it shouldn't, and as soon as I realize this is happening, I try to reel it back in (an old fishing technique). I tell myself to "live for God," and automatically start to focus on being present. Sometimes my mind goes to a conversation that hasn't taken place yet, such as, what I'm going to tell someone at work if she does something I don't like. Maybe I'm re-hashing a conversation to include something I should have said in the past. Naughty. Maybe I'm thinking ill of somebody. Naughtier. Hence, the need to think differently.

The last couple of days, I've been a lot less stressed due to this improved way of thinking. Nice. It all boils down to a choice I've made. In living for God, I seek God everywhere. In conversations, interruptions, disagreements, snowflakes, thoughts and even dog hair on my carpet. Nice again.

I do long for the day when I won't have to try to live for God, when I don't have to refocus so often and it all comes naturally. Nice. But will it ever really come? Will I have to fight so hard for it everyday for the rest of my life just because I'm human?

My mission everyday, before ever walking out my front door, includes telling myself to live for God so I don't focus so much on myself. So I remember Him. So I appreciate Him. So I can love and know Him more - so I can be more nice than naughty.

Since making this commitment:

I've changed my attitude towards someone at work with whom I have conflicts. Nice.

I still don't like her. Naughty. But that's okay, she's acting more professional towards me.

I stop what I'm doing more often to help people at work or anywhere else. Nice.

I give my dog even more loves than I used to. Nice.

I pay more attention to my husband's needs. Nice - or maybe that one's naughty ;-) We won't go there.

I changed the background on this blog without any regard to my husband's tastes this time. Naughty, but it feels good.

Seek ye first... Matthew 6:33